@bonifartius
So having sex with the one you like and who presumably likes you is wrong because "sixties propaganda" and because smoking crack is wrong? That makes a lot of sense!
How does this interfere with your long term goals though?
You aren't getting sex out of the way with this, it's the opposite — you might be fueling interest solely with unfulfilled promise of sex, which might play a cruel joke with young people not good at communicating their intentions.
@bonifartius
Same for the young man who is physically attracted to her, but can't because "reasons". Neither of that can help them build trust — telling him about it upfront and sleeping in different beds is a much better course of action here.
Making things more complicated is not a recipe for healthy relationship, right the opposite — sure way to become a victim of someone manipulative who would have no moral dilemmas.
@bonifartius
The reasons why a girl might not want to get intimate in such a situation can be vastly different, ranging from the ones which make ending the relationship immediately a good idea to just not thinking straight, e.g. if the girl thinks that this young man is only interested in having sex, but wants to be more than that for him — that is lack of trust. Sleeping next to the one you do not trust isn't a great idea — it would make her uncomfortable anyway.
@bonifartius
> you just don't have to follow through?
Why?
> you will likely be able to do so years later
Most married couples manage even without taking such tests early on 😅
"Not having sex" isn't something valuable in its own right, you aren't getting any bonus points for that — you're just depriving yourself (and presumably the other party too) of some fun and for a rather spurious reason 🤷
@s8n @nyanide
It's not about not being attractive, it's about the whole endeavour being less exciting due to "consumerisation" of it — a different problem, quite real one. Read the article, it's not that bad!
Some comments on HNews are also interesting: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42864595
And yes, "just put your phone down" approach might work, but sadly our social environment does not encourage healthier behavioural patterns.
@Coho
BREAKING ICE? 🤭
@bonifartius @kaia
They aren't two years into their married life and just want to let each other get some sleep — if they aren't attracted to each other sexually at this stage, chances are letting each other get some sleep would be all they would be doing to each other in their married life.
This might work for some too — there are couples who live happily together for decades and never have sex, but they are certainly not in the majority.
@neural_meduza
Эй, ну ладно уже! Это точно написала не нейросеть! 🤭
@nyanide
> about wanting to have sex with women
You should get rid of your smartphone first: https://catherineshannon.substack.com/p/your-phone-is-why-you-dont-feel-sexy
Listen, I do not make the rules, we *have to* listen to all these nice people on the InterWebz 🤷
@dcc @ins0mniak
True, it's very niche, but AFAIK some factory still makes them and some music gets released on MiniDisc even: https://minidiscday.com/
@rini@wetdry.world @astrid
Unlike us, he's getting paid for appearing on this stock photo 😒
@nyanide
Fediblocked! Reason: race conditionism.
@screwtape @prahou
My perception of it was as of a classic subversion of expectation joke: he says "hackers" and you expect "computer hackers", but in fact they are those enjoying NetHack, making the ambiguity intentional 😆
@ozzelot
It's an ambitious goal, no one succeeded delivering such an end-user device yet, but at least for tech-savvy people PostmarketOS seems almost there. The further we delay prioritising this, the more we get locked into Android — just a few years ago banks still weren't expecting you to possess a device either with Android or iOS, but nowadays it has already become problematic.
@ozzelot
Yeah, I get why a lot of people go for Google hardware — the bootloader is easily unlockable and you are free to do whatever you want with software. But to me this line of thinking is like "Stop enabling Google to exploit you for profit — pay the ransom directly instead" 🤷
It might seem like a good first step and better than nothing, but in the long run it's a dead end IMO.
We need to distance ourselves from Android entirely…
None
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