m0xEE @m0xee@librem.one

@kaia
The kind of wisdom you lack when you are young: NEVAR update your software!

@ozzelot @prahou @pk84@wehavecookies.social
You seem to be avoiding the the topic: Microsoft *willingly* having killed off HDCD 😏

@th3rdsergeevich @neural_meduza
Да вот же, вот он!

@mitchconner @nyanide
*reaction_image.pcx*

@mitchconner @nyanide
WDYM "mad"? Since when poisoning the food of those posting WebP images stopped being okay? 🤨

@bonifartius
> you can just communicate that you don't want to have sex
Sure you can! But with this we are back to square one: if one of you genuinely wants physical intimacy and the other one doesn't, of course this isn't suitable for long term relationship, neither it is for short term — and you won't turn it into long term by sleeping in the same bed, it simply doesn't work and it's best to not get romantically involved at all, this was @kaia 's original point!

@bonifartius
When the "right time" comes you might suddenly discover that physically you aren't very comfortable with each other, young and inexperienced people tend to idealise the object of their romantic interest, but with part of that magic gone this would lead to disappointment and invoke way more drama.

@kaia

@bonifartius
So having sex with the one you like and who presumably likes you is wrong because "sixties propaganda" and because smoking crack is wrong? That makes a lot of sense!
How does this interfere with your long term goals though?
You aren't getting sex out of the way with this, it's the opposite — you might be fueling interest solely with unfulfilled promise of sex, which might play a cruel joke with young people not good at communicating their intentions.

@kaia

@bonifartius
Same for the young man who is physically attracted to her, but can't because "reasons". Neither of that can help them build trust — telling him about it upfront and sleeping in different beds is a much better course of action here.
Making things more complicated is not a recipe for healthy relationship, right the opposite — sure way to become a victim of someone manipulative who would have no moral dilemmas.

@kaia

@bonifartius
The reasons why a girl might not want to get intimate in such a situation can be vastly different, ranging from the ones which make ending the relationship immediately a good idea to just not thinking straight, e.g. if the girl thinks that this young man is only interested in having sex, but wants to be more than that for him — that is lack of trust. Sleeping next to the one you do not trust isn't a great idea — it would make her uncomfortable anyway.

@kaia

@bonifartius
> you just don't have to follow through?
Why?
> you will likely be able to do so years later
Most married couples manage even without taking such tests early on 😅

"Not having sex" isn't something valuable in its own right, you aren't getting any bonus points for that — you're just depriving yourself (and presumably the other party too) of some fun and for a rather spurious reason 🤷

@kaia

@s8n @nyanide
It's not about not being attractive, it's about the whole endeavour being less exciting due to "consumerisation" of it — a different problem, quite real one. Read the article, it's not that bad!
Some comments on HNews are also interesting: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42864595
And yes, "just put your phone down" approach might work, but sadly our social environment does not encourage healthier behavioural patterns.

@Coho
BREAKING ICE? 🤭

@bonifartius @kaia
They aren't two years into their married life and just want to let each other get some sleep — if they aren't attracted to each other sexually at this stage, chances are letting each other get some sleep would be all they would be doing to each other in their married life.
This might work for some too — there are couples who live happily together for decades and never have sex, but they are certainly not in the majority.

@neural_meduza
Эй, ну ладно уже! Это точно написала не нейросеть! 🤭

@nyanide
> about wanting to have sex with women
You should get rid of your smartphone first: https://catherineshannon.substack.com/p/your-phone-is-why-you-dont-feel-sexy
Listen, I do not make the rules, we *have to* listen to all these nice people on the InterWebz 🤷