@kop316 @purism I totally agree with the sentiment, but I find it really weird to throw away good hardware. I would either try to get it fixed, or at least sell it. Perhaps someone wants it for jailbreaking, for parts, or just as a toy for kids to play games on.
BTW the first result for "iphone all calls go to voicemail" lists multiple possible causes. For example, outdated carrier settings. https://www.wikihow.com/IPhone-Goes-Straight-to-Voicemail
The problem might also be on the carrier side, so you can try calling them.
@elgregor @purism
If I could, I *would* get it fixed. I really don't want to spend money on a new phone just because of a software bug.
The suggested fixes on that site (any many others) are L1 issues that would have been immediately apparent when I originally troubleshooted. I also intend on trying the carrier/Apple support route, but likely their fix is: a) get a new SIM card or b) get a new phone.