The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Toot daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "New instance, why,"
"Why are you tainting our nice timeline? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my sweet little mod," the rich billionaire lied,
"There's a bug in my instance and hackers inside."
"So I'm taking it down for some upgrades, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the mod. The she shook her mod head,
And he turned off his instance, and she went to bed.

And when Cindy-Lou Toot went to bed with her cup,
He went to his instance and fired it back up!
Then the last thing he did was make his follows higher
By just spawning a bunch of new bots, the old liar.
On his timelines were nothing but memes, trolls and fire.
And the one speck of kindness he left in a post,
Was a compliment shortly preceding a roast.

Then he did the same thing to whole federation
Leaving horrible posts and with no moderation!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Toots, still a-bed,
All the Toots, still asnooze when he posted and fled,
Flooded all of their timelines! The trolling! The hating!
The tags! And the teasing! The terror! The baiting!
Three thousand posts up! All were from his new server
He looked at his mentions with maniac fervor!

"PootPoot to the Toots!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that my instance is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Toots down in Tootville will all post BooHoo!"
"That's a sight," grinned the Grinch, "That MUST simply be seen!"
So he paused. And the Grinch aimed his eye at his screen.

And he did see some posts rising from his screen's glow
They started in low. Then they started to grow.
But the posts weren't sad! Why, they all sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared at his timeline! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Toot down in Tootville, the tall and the small,
Was posting! Without seeing his posts at all!

He HADN'T stopped Fediverse from coming! It CAME!
Because of good mods, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-face-ice-cold at his screen,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "What does this mean?"
"It came despite trolling! Despite all of my bots!"
"It came despite politics, and my hateful thoughts!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Fediverse," he thought, "isn't driven by hate."
"There are no algorithms that tally and rate!"
And what happened then? Well...in Tootville they say,
That the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with new posts through the bright morning light,
And he posted good posts! And his kindness was loosed!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch's posts got REAL boosts!

@kyle Thanks, I enjoyed this and looked forward to every installment!

@kyle Thank you for that wonderful story.

@kyle Glorious :D how do you come up with these?

@golemwire I honestly don't know, it's just something that I find my brain doing automatically when someone says something that triggers a song in my mind. This one was triggered by someone referring to Mastodon as "Tootville".

@kyle on a roll