vbhide @vbhide@librem.one

>be me
>formerly normal grocery shopper
>oil is oil
>butter is butter
>mayonnaise is mayonnaise
>life is simple
>make catastrophic mistake of reading one thread about seed oils at 1:30 AM
>come out the other side spiritually unable to view a nutrition label the same way again
>go to supermarket next morning
>pick up loaf of bread
>soybean oil
>why
>put it back
>grab hamburger buns
>soybean oil
>tortillas
>canola oil
>crackers
>sunflower oil
>granola
>expeller-pressed safflower oil
>protein bar
>vegetable oil blend
>vegetable oil blend
>what vegetables
>which vegetables are being squeezed for oil
>have never seen anyone wring a broccoli
>start checking things that logically should not require oil
>dried cranberries
>sunflower oil
>raisins
>sunflower oil
>seasoning packet
>canola oil
>peanut butter
>rapeseed oil
>excuse me
>buy roasted nuts
>ingredients: almonds, sunflower oil, sea salt
>THE ALMOND ALREADY CONTAINS OIL
>WHY DID YOU OIL THE OIL
>walk into frozen aisle
>every product has the same microscopic ingredient list
>"contains 2% or less of soybean oil, canola oil, cottonseed oil, sunflower oil, palm oil, natural flavors, xanthan gum, spiritual malaise"
>realize seed oil isn't an ingredient anymore
>it's atmospheric
>it's the culinary equivalent of microplastics
>restaurant menu says "grilled chicken"
>excellent
>ask waiter what it's grilled in
>"our house vegetable oil blend"
>there is no escape
>order steak
>"we brush the grill with canola oil"
>order steamed vegetables
>"finished with our garlic-infused soybean oil"
>order plain baked potato
>waiter begins sweating
>"the potato supplier lightly coats them in vegetable oil for..."
>STOP
>go home
>decide to cook everything myself
>buy cast iron pan
>butter
>beef tallow
>olive oil from a bottle with more provenance documentation than my birth certificate
>finally safe
>roommate walks in
>"hey anon I bought some nonstick cooking spray"
>look at label
>CANOLA OIL, SOY LECITHIN
>hear Dark Souls boss music
>week later become That Guy at every social gathering
>"what oil did you use?"
>"anon it's birthday cake"
>"ANSWER THE QUESTION"
>friend hands me chips
>turn bag around before accepting
>sunflower oil
>hand recoils instinctively
>friend looks at me like I'm inspecting the ingredients for plutonium
>eventually realize half the modern food supply appears to be based on one fundamental culinary principle:
>take a perfectly edible substance
>find some way to spray soybean or canola oil onto it
>sell it
>even foods marketed as healthy
>"ancient grain organic superfood clusters"
>ingredients begin with oats, quinoa, chia
>beautiful
>keep reading
>CANOLA OIL
>they got the ancient grains too
>Mesopotamia has fallen
>start shopping exclusively around perimeter of store
>meat
>eggs
>produce
>dairy
>feel like medieval peasant avoiding cursed interior aisles
>occasionally venture into center for coffee
>inspect label anyway
>100% coffee
>finally
>one product has escaped
>cashier sees me reading it
>"sir, that's coffee"
>I KNOW WHAT THEY'RE CAPABLE OF
>seed oil redpill isn't even believing they're uniquely poisonous anymore
>it's simply noticing them
>once noticed they become impossible to unsee
>soybean oil is hiding behind every cupboard door like fucking Slenderman
>canola oil is somehow in both the salad dressing and the "buttery" popcorn
>sunflower oil has infiltrated dried fruit
>cottonseed oil exists despite cotton famously not being food
>every time I think I've escaped
>new product appears
>"Made with REAL AVOCADO!"
>check ingredients
>canola oil, avocado oil
>avocado oil listed just high enough to legally put a green avocado on the front
>mfw modern food manufacturers apparently regard seed oil as the culinary equivalent of mortar
>nothing may be constructed without it
>mfw I just wanted lunch

Ginsberg's Theorem:
(1) You can't win.
(2) You can't break even.
(3) You can't even quit the game.

Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem:
Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem
meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's
Theorem. To wit:

(1) Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
(2) Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
(3) Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.

Good read, interresting perspective of warfare in the Balkans by a british SOE(english OSS, glowie) Agent.
some of this is kinda incredibly funny.
>"so yeah we might have handed all our military aid to Albanian communist, which won't fight and just wait the war out"
>"high command forbade us from aiding nationalist elements to not upset the soviets"
>"we basically handed over the balkan to communists for free"

the next book, "Alms to Oblivion" is equally funny
>"why are the americans, OSS, fucking us and our french allies in French-Indochina by supplying communists?"

Has anyone realized that the purpose of the fortune cookie program is to
defuse project tensions? When did you ever see a cheerful cookie, a
non-cynical, or even an informative cookie?
Perhaps inadvertently, we have a channel for our aggressions. This
still begs the question of whether the cookie releases the pressure or only
serves to blunt the warning signs.

Long live the revolution!
Have a nice day.

Welcome back, everybody.

For those of you who are here illegally, it’s a tradition at an American wedding for the best man to insult the groom. We call it a toast, because you have to be toasted to accept the honor.

For those of you who don't know me—and that's all of you—and to the half of the room thats perpetually squinting because you’re Chinese, I'm the Best Man. At least for this moment.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking: "How long have you two been friends?"

Well... that's a great question. We've been friends online for years.

"How many times have you met?"

Also a great question.

Zero.

That's right. I have never met the groom in person. In fact, until today I wasn't completely convinced he wasn't three jewz operating a laptop.

Most best men start their speeches by saying, "I've known the groom since we were kids," or "We survived college together."

I can't say that.

What I can say is that we've liked each other's memes for years. We've built N towers, shared thoughts on societies failings, complained about work, and exchanged enough memes that I feel like I know him better than some people know their own siblings.

I've never borrowed money from him, never gone fishing with him, and never been arrested with him—which, statistically speaking, makes me one of his least problematic friends.

When he asked me to be his best man, I was genuinely honored. I also thought, "He has a very small guest list."

I met everyone today. It took me ninety seconds. He's just an online nigger like me.

Now, people sometimes say that online friendships aren't "real."

Well, I flew here (he paid me to). You're all dressed up. There's an open bar. This seems pretty real to me.

As for the groom, I can honestly say he's one of the funniest, kindest, and most genuine people I've had the pleasure of knowing—even if our friendship has mostly been measured in Wi-Fi bars instead of miles.

And to the bride: thank you for confirming that he is, in fact, a real human being. We all appreciate the verification.

You have found someone who makes people laugh, who values his friends, and who somehow inspires enough trust that he convinced someone from the internet to give a wedding speech.

That takes talent.

Marriage is a lot like an online friendship. It takes communication, patience, trust, and occasionally pretending you didn't see the last message because you needed time to think of a better reply.

So here's to a lifetime of laughter, adventures, inside jokes, and always having someone who's in your corner—whether they're sitting beside you or on the other side of a screen.

Please raise your glasses.

To the bride and groom: may your love always have a strong connection, may your arguments never require a software update, and may your life together never buffer.

Cheers!

https://colortest.fun/

I watched The Bedford Incident last night. Fantastic movie–they don't make movies like this any longer.

Think Dr. Strangelove, but serious. A US Navy destroyer hunting a Russian submarine carrying nukes off the coast of Greenland.

Paying 19 cents per text message was actually peak society. Every message was a meticulously edited, 160-character masterpiece where you weighed the financial cost of a vowel.

cul8r!

😁😁😁

#archaeohistories

my cock is small but my heart is big (I'm vaccinated)

Not sure how we went from plain, straightforward words to LinkedIn speak but now you can use Kagi Translate to fit right into that crowd:

https://translate.kagi.com/?from=en&to=LinkedIn+speak

Do not try to solve all life's problems at once -- learn to dread each
day as it comes.
-- Donald Kaul