my seeing-crystal started weeping blood and all of the dowsing rods have bent themselves downwards

I tried to consult my tarot but all it will deal me is the "rules of poker" card from a regular deck of playing cards

my oracle is on vacation in the Finger Lakes and totally unreachable; can anyone tell me if these are good or bad omens? I have an appointment at 4

me, watching an ebon vulture land on the hood of my car, vomit four chess pieces (2 black rooks, a white bishop, and a grey??? pawn) into my hand and then theatrically die: I hope that's a good thing

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hate it when you're on your way to a psychic reading and the driver of every other car on the road has the face of your father, but backwards

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can anyone recommend some good photo-editing tutorials? on my way home the sky turned black for like half a minute and now all of the paintings in my house look like they're screaming and I'd like to put them back

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@EdgarAllanFoe

oh you're currently living in a test-server for reality. if that change goes well, soon we'll ALL have screaming paintings.

make sure to close your eyes tightly until you can see the beta test questionnaire come into view so the devs have the asset of your feedback!

@EdgarAllanFoe @jackdaw_ruiz

Don't worry, I'm a tarot reader. Let me just get out my deck. The cards, the cards, the cards will see what your past, your present and your future will be.

Past: White Sand Ice Cream Shop
Present: Intern Dana
Future: Dana’s Grandfather’s Table

Hmm...that's not normal. Who is Dana and how did she get in my Tarot deck? These aren't cards in this deck. What have you done to the source code of the universe?

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@EdgarAllanFoe Ok lets try Runes instead...

What the fuck? I pulled out an acorn, a bottle cap and a shark's tooth...how the fuck did those get in my bag? I...where did all those baby teeth come form and is that a glass eye? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY RUNES!?! WHY IS THERE A RAVEN RAPPING AT MY CHAMBER DOOR AND SINGING EMINEM NO LESS!?

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