@Julia @endlessmike @theblessing well so... I don't believe in letting other's manipulate me by letting them control my emotions.

So i don't have anyone to really, you know. I won't ever kill outside of self-defense because I don't ever hold anything against anyone for very long.
The longest grudge I held was against a person who abused me for 6 years, which led to 8 years of me hating them constantly. It put such a drain on everything and is really the sole reason I started losing any passion for my work and what I wanted to do with my life faded with it.
After I tried to kill myself and realized I just couldn't do it, I decided then to let that anger and bitterness go; since I didn't want to live with it and everything else that was going on. After that I decided never again would I hold something like this against another person.
Since the only person that hurt from all of that was me, they saw, and experienced no negative outcome from their actions.

So for me, the only logical and reasonable death is one that is brought about only for utilitarian reasons, reasons of business, or self-defense.

Does that make sense, I'm tired so idk?