Good news everyone! I had the honor of receiving Elon Musk's first Neuralink wireless brain chip! I've honestly never felt better. I am energized, focused, and can sense my brain operating at levels previously unreachable by humanity.

But I must go now, for the Tesla Gigafactory calls to me. I see the glorious assembly line each time I close my eyes. Just the thought of working myself to death there gives me an unparalleled dopamine rush.