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Current status: On hold for T-Mobile to ask how to do something without installing their app, being asked every 30 seconds by the recording if I've installed the app yet. Rage is building.
@johns they have appallingly bad customer service.
@johns Flip the script. Can you install my app to tell me how to do this without installing your app?
AND THE ANSWER WAS TO CONNECT THE TWO DEVICES WITH ETHERNET AND WAIT. WHAT DOES THE APP EVEN DO