How does everyone handle the whole Santa situation with their children?
I'd rather not lie to the little people and keep consumerism low in our whānau but also don't want them to feel like they miss out on fun stuff.
@pezmico I was quite a weird, literal child, and having spoken to my friends my experience was by no means universal, but the amount of enjoyment I may have had from the Santa story was far, far outweighed by how upset and scared I was when I found out all the adults in my life had been conspiring to lie to me about something that at that age felt very important. I couldn't understand why they'd made this story up and convinced me it was true and I was terrified I couldn't trust anything
@afewbugs it must have been hard for you to go through that sense of distrust.
May I ask, how do you think your parents or caretakers should have handled it for you? What do you think it is you needed/wanted from them?
@pezmico I didn't know how to articulate it at the time, but what I'd have wanted was an explanation of why they'd done it ("We pretend Santa exists because it's a fun story to tell" or something). They saw I was upset and were trying to reassure me that I'd still get presents, but i was too young to be able to explain why I was really upset and that it wasn't about the presents, that I'd suddenly discovered that the entire adult world was untrustworthy and had apparently all been
@pezmico colluding to deceive me for reasons I couldn't understand. I'd have far preferred it if they' just said Santa was a story but a fun one from the outset
@afewbugs I hear you.
I don't know if this will be the case with my little one, but it's definitely something I am thankful to learn to try and be mindful of as we go along this learning experience.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. 🙏
@pezmico As I say my reaction seems to have been pretty unusual, but I still wouldn't want to take the risk of doing that to another child
@afewbugs understood.
I agree that your case is not the norm, but it speaks to me of the need to understand the viewpoint of each child.
Sounds like you valued the certainty of the truthfulness of your adults way more than the myth of Santa and any possible magical feeling it may have had associated with it.
I want to try to be mindful of that kind of emotions and not be blinded by cultural norms.
@pezmico Thank you, that's it exactly
@pezmico else that they said to me now. As I say I've never met anyone else who felt the same, and obviously if everyone had found the whole thing so scary as a child no one would still do it, but seeing my brother tell my nieces about Santa still makes me very uncomfortable and worried that he's setting them up for the same thing