@kirby
Don't beat yourself over it! When I was younger, I used to thing that everyone who's e.g. into cryptography understands all this stuff perfectly — like they are thinking formulaes. But no, it's not that in the slightest — most are as dumb as most of the rest, even those who have studied it in the Uni or are working in this area — their professional sphere might be more interesting than most, but the people are mostly the same as everywhere.