Here's something you might not know about #OCD therapy*: it becomes a lifestyle. They tell you it's about facing your fears, but they don't tell you that facing your fears becomes a goddamn *hobby*. You start out doing structured exposures with a therapist, making a typo or touching a toilet or holding a knife, or whatever it is that challenges your OCD. But to progress in recovery, at some point you have to take that approach and apply it to your whole effing life.

If, in the course of my day, I take a non-symmetrical photo? Welp, now I'm gonna post that, because OCD doesn't want me to. If I pass a bin? Gonna touch it. Don't want to, but I will. You start looking at everything as an opportunity to practice sitting with your fears. Other people get their adrenaline rushes from horror movies and rollercoasters. My adrenaline rush is the hundred small terrifying things I do every day in the name of getting better--because if I don't, OCD pounces on the opening like an excited kitten. You can't just leave your therapy in therapy and give into compulsions the rest of the time. You have to be willing to let fear come and live with you, so your brain can learn there's truly nothing to fear.

Are you starting to see how brave we are? How determined? I don't know anyone stronger than people in OCD recovery. It takes an incredible feat of self-love and courage to encounter your worst nightmare day after day--and even when you're exhausted, even on your day off, say "aw, shit! It won't know what hit it!"

*(Exposure and Response Prevention therapy, or ERP for short)

#Anxiety #MentalHealth